Toasts
Beer Toasts
A 5,000 year old toast to a woman tavern keeper in ancient Mesopotamia.
Translated by Miguel Civil of the Oriental Institute of the University of
Chicago.
Let the heart of the gakko vat be our heart!
What makes your heart feel wonderful,
Makes also our heart feel wonderful.
Our liver is happy, our heart is joyful.
You poured a libation over the brick of destiny,
You placed the foundations in peace and prosperity.
May Ninkasi live together with you!
Let her pour for you beer and wine,
Let the pouring of the sweet liquor resound pleasantly for you!
In the...reed buckets there is sweet beer,
I will make cupbearers, boys, and brewers stand by,
While I turn around the abundance of beer,
While I feel wonderful, I feel wonderful,
Drinking beer, in a blissful mood,
Drinking liquor, feeling exhilarated,
With joy in the heart and a happy liver --
While my heart full of joy,
And my happy liver I covered with a garment fit for a queen!
More Beer Toasts:
For every wound, a balm.
For every sorrow, cheer.
For every storm, a calm.
For every thirst, a beer.
Times are hard,
And wages are small,
So drink more beer,
And fuck them all.
Here's to women, beer and song, may none of them be flat.
In heaven there is no beer;
That's why we drink it here.
And when we're gone from here,
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.
Glorious! Glorious!
One keg of beer for the four of us!
Glory be to God there are no more of us!
Because the four of us can drink it alone!
Of all my favorite things to do,
The utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.
Beer's so frothy, smooth and cold--
It's paradise--pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me...
That's all for now, I gotta pee!
Here's to the perfect girl.
Who could ask for more,
She's deaf, dumb, oversexed, and owns a liquor store.
I want a beer, just like the beer
That pickled dear old Dad.
It was a beer and the only beer
That Daddy ever had...
A good old fashioned beer with lots of foam,
It took ten men to carry Daddy home.
Oh, I want a beer, just like the beer
That pickled dear old Dad.
Here's to the girl I love,
I wish that she were nigh;
If drinking beer would bring her here,
I'd drink the damn place dry.
Mother's in the kitchen washing out the jugs,
Sister's in the pantry bottling the suds,
Father's in the cellar mixin' up the hops,
Johnny's on the front porch watchin' for the cops.
(from a prohibition song)
Who'd care to be a bee and sip
Sweet honey from the flower's lip
When he might be a fly and steer
Head first into a can of beer?
Here's to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and a happy one,
A good girl and a pretty one,
A cold beer and another one.
I'm very fond of water
I drink it noon and night
No mother's son or daughter
Hath known of more delight!
But I forgot to mention,
('tis best to be sincere)
I use an old invention,
That turns it into beer.